I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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