and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
