No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
