idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
