You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
