do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize