She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
