Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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