What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
