I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize