you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
