the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize