So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
where am i from again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
