i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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