ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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