Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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