Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
