I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize