what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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