we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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