Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
