And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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