We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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