You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just tell him i said nine months
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
