I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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