I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize