whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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