It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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