We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm having to shit out rocks
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