we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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