so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
