I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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