dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
