so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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