About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
