just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
