she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
is it fun? or sober?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
