Is it because I queefed?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
