I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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