im six kinds of drunk right now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
