i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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