he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
