I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
