You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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