Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
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