Already got asked if we're dating
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
