Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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