I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
