Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
