I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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