I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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