Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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