who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have post one night stand depression
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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