Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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