There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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