i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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