I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
