U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
