I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
