i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
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She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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